Funny Christmas Stories - 2

Penultimate Day of Term before the Christmas Holiday

'Today we'll relax a little and play a spelling game before we break up for the Christmas holidays,' says Mrs Paisley, the primary schoolteacher. Each of you will stand up, tell us your name, what your father does, spell what your father does, and then explain it to us. All right, Jack, you can go first.'
Jack stands up and says, 'My name's Jack. My father is a builder, b-u-i-l-d-e-r, and he helps to put up homes.'
Mrs Paisley says, 'Very good. All right, Dominic, your turn.'
Dominic stands says, 'My name's Dominic. My father's a pharmacist, f-a-m... f-a-r-n... f-n...'
The teacher, Mrs Paisley, says, 'Dominic, you go home tonight and learn how to spell pharmacist. All right, Bobby.'
Bobby stands up and says, 'My name's Bobby. My old man is a bookie, b-o-o-k-i-e, and if he was here, he'd give you five to two odds Dominic won't spell pharmacist by tomorrow.'


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Clean But Amusing Angel Jokes

• Mindy aged 8. 'I only know the names of one angel, he's called Herald.' Mommy sings to me the Christmas Carol:
  Hark! The Herald angel sings.
• Peter aged 7. 'Angels don't eat much, but they drink a lot of milk from Holy Cows.'
• Veronica aged 8. 'I don't understand about angels; why when a girl fancies a boy, they get an angel to shoot arrows at him.
• Bert aged 25. 'My wife's an angel'.
  Don aged 57. 'You're lucky, mine is still alive'.

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Another Good Angel Joke

Just before Christmas God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the evil that was going on. He decided to send an angel down to Earth to check it out. So he called one of His best angels and sent the angel to Earth for a time. When she returned she told God, yes it is bad on Earth, 95% is bad and 5% is good.
Well, he thought for a moment and said, maybe I had better send down a second angel to get another point of view. So God called another angel and sent her to Earth for a time too. When the angel returned she went to God and told him yes, the Earth was in decline, 95% was bad and 5% was good.
God said this was not good. So He decided to email the 5% that were good and He wanted to encourage them, give them a little something to help them keep going.

Do you know what that email said?
Ah, so you didn't get one either?

 

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Radha Diaram
ReMax Real Estate Centre Inc.
(800)461-2686
www.radhadiaram.com